Tuesday 12 February 2013

Case solved (I)

"Finally!" Lord Todd said.
"Yes, you have remarkable security."
"You should have arrived earlier. Move off the rug, you are dripping."
To tell the truth I was a little scared of him, a little in awe - I was (had been?) a fan...I was worried what he was thinking of me. I moved off the rug. I didn't wring my hands or doff my cap, but I might as well have.
"So. You are skilled in solving these crimes?"
"That's what they tell me."
"So. Who killed my butler?"
"Mr Court?"
"He is my butler."
I coughed. I had to say it. "Was." and then I wish I hadn't.
"Oh very good. Yes. Was. Was. Makes all the difference to the question. Excellent, I can see you will be well worth the fee."
Sarcasm. Excellent. I felt foolish and unsure of myself. He was belittling me and I dutifully felt belittled. More importantly, I felt worried that he wouldn't employ me and - frankly - I needed the money.
"Ah yes, the fee."
"I will pay your standard rates as advertised on your website - plus a bonus for solving the case. What do you need?"
"Um, well if you could just tell me exactly what you are after?"
Lord Todd lifted the tea-pot and poured his tea. He concentrated on putting the right amount of milk in before lifting the tea cup and taking a tentative sip. Finally, still without looking at me he said quietly: "What I am after is the person who killed my butler. It is not a surprising question, I hope. I expect you may have predicted that I would ask this question...", he put his tea cup down and snarled, "...because it is so bloody obvious! I have one other question now: have I go the right man on this case?"
"Yes, yes of course! Ok, well then if that's all you want I will solve your case and if there is anything else you need just let me know. The person who killed your butler - Mr Court - was Dr. John Stanley."
At least Lord Todd now looked surprised and (was I imagining it?) impressed: "Dr John Stanley? Never heard of him. How do you know?"
"I rang the hospital and they allowed me access to Mr. Court's treatment notes." I fished out my notebook and read from my notes. "Mr Court's life support was turned off at 13:10 on 28th January 2013 by Dr John Stanley."
There was silence. Lord Todd looked at me with what I took for disgust. "You are joking?"
"Er...no. You asked who killed your butler and I have told you."
There was a longer silence. Lord Todd stood up and carried the tea cup to the window and, looking out, he sipped his tea quietly. At last he turned back to me. "Fine," he spat. "We will start again. This time I will tell you more precisely what I want to know and you will tell me exactly how you will find it out. Agreed?"

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